Wednesday 10 July 2013

Ask the Expert | Potty Training



Following our recent blog post New thoughts on Potty Training which received a record amount of interest within a few days, we have asked June Rogers, a paediatric continence specialist with over 20 years experience to answer your questions on toilet/potty and night training.

June will be answering your questions on Wednesday 17th July from 10am until 2pm, on whatever challenges you and your toddler are facing on your potty training journey...so get asking! Please start leaving your questions here now!

25 comments:

  1. Great topic for us right now. Our son has just turned 2 and is showing the signs that he is getting frustrated with his nappies. My question is how long does potty training take on average - and is there a 'simple' way to do it?

    Thanks!
    Jhanne

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    1. Hi Jhanne - unfortunately there is no simple way! However if you make sure your child has as many of the skills he would need to become toilet trained then it the actual process should only take a few weeks. To get him ready there are few things you can do:
      - only change his nappy in the bathroom
      - change him standing up so he can help with pulling pants up and down etc
      - show him the wet/soiled nappy so he learns what wee/poo is
      - put the poo in the toilet and get the child to flush it away
      - encourage hime to wash and dry his hands at every bathroom visit
      - have an open door policy so he sees everyone else using the toilet
      - start to sit him on the potty / toilet at set times during the day e.g. after meals
      - when he is happy to sit on the potty or toilet and has some awareness of wees and poos and particularly if you have managed to 'catch' a wee or poo -that is a good time to start by removing the nappy and going for it
      - taking him to choose his own undies with a cartoon character on which he is told he 'must not wet'also helps!
      Good luck!

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  2. Just started potty training my daughter 27 months. Do I put a nappy back on for her nap (1 1/2 hours)? Also, how many accidents are considered normal when starting out - or is there a point when training should be delayed until later?

    Thanks,

    Bev

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    1. Hi Bev

      We normally suggest starting toilet training when you consider you have some chance of success! So although lots of accidents would be expected over the first few days these would normally tail off as the child became more aware of what they were supposed to do! So I would say after the first week or so accidents should be minimal and quite often happen when the child was busy playing or distracted watching the television. There are no hard and fast rules re nappy on during daytime nap although if you encourage a wee before she goes down then she should be able to stay dry so in theory you should leave the nappy off.

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  3. My son is turning three in september, we started potty training when he was 28 months old and he managed quite quivkly wnd easily to go toilet when he needed to do a pee.but we were struggling a lot with the poo.he always did it in his pants, until recently when we offered him a little treat if he goes to toilet and it worked, we had about a month without any problem. Then a week ago he did his poo again into his pants, I thought it is a one off but it happened the following day again and since then we had only one episode where he went toilet for his poo (and only because I caught him just in time) otherwise everything goes in his pants. Today he even did it into his little pool while we were outside. I don't know anymore what to do.

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    1. Hi - this is a very common problem and sometimes triggered by the passing of a poo that was a bit uncomfortable - children then learn if they stand to poo they can control it much better and also hold on to it if necessary! What we sometimes do is offer the child a 'poo nappy' which is kept in the bathroom. The child is told about these 'special' nappies and encouraged to ask for one if he needs to poo. Once he is happily going to the bathroom to use the nappy to do a poo you then encourage him to do it sitting on the toilet. We have a number of leaflets to help with this problem which you can find if you click on the link below
      http://www.disabledliving.co.uk/Promocon/Publications/Children/Bowels

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    2. This a great idea:)
      I'll remember that.

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  4. Taking advantage of the summer temperatures we're letting our 1,5 year old son roam around without his terry nappy on (while following him with a potty). It turns out he seems afraid/ashamed of peeing in front of us and does it only when hidden behind a corner. Even so, he moans and prefers to pee as soon as the nappy is back on. Any ideas on how to make the nappy a less attractive proposition?

    Thank you,
    Nika

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    1. Hi Nika - we find leaving the nappy over the potty can encourage some children to sit on the potty to wee (you can pull the nappy up between his legs if he needs that reassurance) and respond by lots of positive reinforcement praise etc. You are wanting him to learn to only wee/poo in a potty toilet - he has already some idea that the nappy is where he wants to wee so by putting the nappy on the potty/toilet you are helping him to learn that new skill - Good Luck!

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  5. My daughter is 2y7m and was toilet trained 4-5 mths ago just before our second daughter was born. She had a few accidents here and there in the month or two when she was toilet trained and has not had accidents for a couple of months since. However in the last week or two she has 3-4 accidents! On a couple of occasions she was being a little naughty hiding and not responding to us calling for her, the other occasions she was quietly taking herself to the toilet and seem to be too late when she finally got herself onto the toilet (wee'ed on the mat)!
    We found her one night came out if her bed, took her night nappy off, and put herself onto the loo (we generally ask her to tell us if she needs the toilet so we can take her).
    Should I be concerned that she has regressed & be taking some specific actions? It doesn't seem a 2y8m should be allowed/ready to go to toilet without supervision...?!
    Thanks!

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    1. Hi - Well done for toilet training your little girl - I would not be concerned as having 'accidents' often happen when the child becomes too busy etc to concentrate on going to the toilet. What I suggest is you get her in a good routine of going to the toilet regularly - if you have a rough idea how long she can last between wees (e.g. 2-3 hours)then as that time is coming up and she has yet to do a wee then a prompt such as 'Toilet time' will hopefully prevent any accidents. Over time she will become more and more reliable and become more independent at taking herself.

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  6. My 2 year and 3 month old is scared of taking his nappy off. Otherwise he seems ready, he does not pee a night or nap at all. He holds it and pees just a few times a day, he tells me when he pees Or poos. He has used the potty many times for both, but he seems very scared of accidents and won't wear underwear/ go naked. I don't know how to make him understand that it does not matter if he has an accident. I am actually considering putting on nappies without the cloth insert so that they leak anyways, There was an incident more than 5-7 months ago when his nappy was not on properly and he peed on the floor, a lot of friends were around and they all laughed and he got very upset, i wonder if it links back to that. Anna

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    1. This is quite a common problem. I would encourage him to wear pants but leave the nappy out in the bathroom/on top of the potty and tell him when he needs to wee or poo he can have his nappy on if he wants. You put the nappy on in the bathroom - where you encourage him to stay - once he has finished you take the nappy off and put the pants back on. This continues until he is happy and confident doing it then move the gaol posts and say he can have the nappy on but he must also sit on the potty or toilet with the nappy on - once he is at this stage you can work to remove the nappy completely - good luck!

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  7. Just some quick questions:
    - Is it worth investing in a more comfortable potty if a child does look uncomfortable using a cheaper standard potty or is he just not ready?
    - Should boys be taught to urinate sitting down or standing up? Is there an easier way? Should dad get involved then?
    - How do I go about travelling long distances with a toddler who still has some accidents: is it OK to use nappies for the occasion or better to allow more time and take regular breaks, etc...?
    - Do you have any recommendations regarding books, sites, potties that could help us along the way?
    Sorry it almost looks like an interview... I hope this is not too much. Thank you for your answers :)

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    1. Hi There - to answer your questions
      - yes investing in a good potty which enables your child to sit comfortably is definitely worth it
      - most boys learn to wee sitting down first on the potty and standing to wee to use the toilet - having things 'floating' in the toilet will give him something to aim at! - yes dad and any male you can get as a role model definitely helps!
      - re travelling if you are going to be on the move for longer than he can stay dry then try and have more breaks - otherwise a nappy over his undies will help coping with any 'accidents' but still let him feel wet
      - if tou go on the PromoCon website www.promocon.co.uk we have lots of booklets and information that you can download for free. We also have a helpline 0161 607 8219 that you can ring for any further advice
      Hope that answers all your questions!
      Good luck

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  8. Caroline has sent us this message:

    We are potty training my 20 month year old girl as it’s been nice weather and she loves being naked. She is happy to sit on the potty, and go and get the potty when she announces ‘poo poo’ but when she actually goes for a poo or wee she stands up and moves away from the potty and does it a few metres away and gets really upset if we try and force her to stay on it. The few times we have caught it in the potty she is pleased so she knows where it needs to go but just seems resistant to using the potty as a toilet rather than just a seat? What should we do? Keep going as we are? Or change tactic?

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    1. Hi Caroline Sometimes it is difficult for very young toddlers to understand the concept of using a potty to wee/poo rather than a nappy - what we find works for a lot of young children is to put a nappy on top of the potty. They recognise what the nappy is for and that often helps with them developing an understanding that that is what the potty is for as well! If the reluctance to use the potty without a nappy there continues some mums replace the nappy with a wad of kitchen roll and then toilet paper until the child eventually gets used to going to the potty as somewhere you do your wees and poos :-)

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  9. My daughter is 28 months going 29 m old. She is not potty train yet as it looks like she does not understand what is going on with her body and what we want from her. She is very happy to were soiled nappy and does not complain at all. As well she is in nursery from 8-6 as I have to work so I do not think Saturday and Sunday is enough to start with. How I can persude her to start?

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    1. Hi There - many children will happily sit in a soiled nappy so if we left it until they showed an interest we would be waiting a very long time! I think what you need to do is have a meeting with the nursery and make a decision regarding starting to toilet train her. If she is not yet sitting on a potty or toilet then that is where it needs to start. We suggest aiming for the child to sit at regular intervals such as on waking, after meals, before bed etc. This needs to be done consistently and to talk about wees and poos. She should only be changed in the bathroom and standing up so that she can start to get involved with pulling her pans up and down etc and shown if she is wet / soiled so she learns what wee/poo is. Hopefully with regular sitting on the potty/toilet she may do a wee or poo by chance when she is given lots of positive feedback. Once she is happily sitting on the potty/toilet you can make a decision with nursery to remove the nappy and just put her in knickers - expect lots of accidents the first few days but over time this should reduce. So really it is not a case of you pursuading the child you have just got to go on and do it
      Good Luck!

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  10. Mrs Patel from Forest Gate has just called in with this question
    For the past 7 to 8 months now I’ve been trying to potty train my little one (daughter, 2.5 years). She knows what a wee is now but she doesn’t tell me when she wants to do it. She just does it in the pull-up. And number twos, she knows what it is, but she doesn’t tell me until after she’s done it. I didn’t have these problems with my older boys, they were easy. I’ve had enough now. I’m thinking to just put underpants on her. What should I do? What do I do when I go out? Do I put her in a pull-up? Or will that confuse her? Can I get telephone advice?

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    1. Hi Mrs Patel

      Yes I think you just need to go for it and remove the pull-up - the problem with disposabled pull-ups is that they feel just like a nappy to a child and they use them as a portable toilet! So just put her in knickers and when you go out if she cannot do a wee before you leave and if there would be no toilets available and you are worried about her having accidents then just put a pull-up on over her knickers. Do ring your Health Visitor if you need further advice or you can ring the PromoCon helpline on 0161 607 8219

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  11. Hi June
    Thanks so much for your time and for answering all these questions. We've had lots of direct emails saying Thank You. This blog will be a great source of advice for others in the future. Is there anything else you want to add?
    Hilary

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    1. Hi Hilary

      Thanks for that - just to say PromoCon has lots of free downloadable booklets and information sheets about all aspects of continence issues in children including potty training, managing constipation and bedwetting - website details www.promocon.co.uk

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  12. Hello,
    My boy doesn't want to sit on his potty, he refuses and cries when I try to make him sit on it and I don't think he understands the purpose. I am playing games with his teddy, I leave the toilet door open time to time and I talk about pee and poo but he just doesn't care. He is 20 months old, I know I still have some time but is there anything else you could suggest?

    Many thanks

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    1. Just wondering if you live in London and could come along to one of our sessions. You can book here:
      http://www.eventbrite.com/e/potty-training-events-tickets-17512453219?aff=es2

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